We are officially liberated from uniforms, homework, and alarm clocks at our house.
So it's time for the annual summer reading list.
I don't plan to read another thing about healthcare, the IRS, Libya, Angelina Jolie's mastectomy, or Romeo & Juliet - they are dead to me. (Sorry, teacher humor.)
I'm taking a break from all of it for a few weeks, so the world is just going to have to simmer down for a bit.
I do, however, have a long list of books I'm planning to read this summer and I plan to do most of that reading in a float in the pool or in a chair on my deck.
There are several. SEVERAL. So how about we just start with some non-fiction?
And Lordy there are some good ones.
1. A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet by Sophie Hudson
So, this one comes out today. I've read Boo Mama, Sophie's blog, for a few years. I've never met her in real life, but she gave me traffic information via Twitter once.
Do you ever wonder about what the internet has done to your social skills? I feel certain that I'd probably assume a level of familiarity with her that would be unhealthy and most likely terrifying because many of her stories sound so much like mine. Which is why I am planning to take my girl and sit at the pool all day today so that I can read it from cover to cover.
Anyway- I can promise you it will be worth every penny. You can check out the book trailer, her blog, and all sorts of other things here: Boo Mama.
2. The Tao of Martha by Jen Lancaster
Okay, so this one also comes out today as well. As someone who spent so many years trying to emulate Martha Stewart, I feel like this will be sweet revenge for all of us who developed deep homemaking angst via Martha Stewart...or Pinterest. I've read every word she's written for publication and her memoirs are always hilarious. Always.
What Jen Lancaster isn't able to undo for us, Vicki certainly will. As someone who has enjoyed a lifetime of fairytales and chick flicks it's necessary to read truth about life with people.
It's hard. Even when we're doing it right, or as right as we can. I've always appreciated and loved Vicki's biblical and relatable way of writing.
Since I end up in the emergency room more often than the spa, this book will probably be surgically attached to me the next time I'm in for stitches or a tetanus shot.
Think I'm kidding? Just last week I stepped on a roofing nail. And I significantly bruised my knees and pride when a mole leapt out of a hole onto my foot causing me to trip over the garden hose and fall off of a landscaping timber. (And yes, moles will leap out of the ground if you are watering and inadvertently fill their mole hole with water.)
That was Thursday.
Anyway. Let's move on.
Listen. I'm not going to lie- the kids have instituted a tax on my swearing. There is a jar- a Swear Jar. They are planning a cruise with the profits. It's not terrible- just an occasional "hell" or "d$#@" and maybe an "a@$." But as Coach says regularly- I'm better than that.
I'm also in debt to the swear jar. But I'm stopping cold turkey because nobody likes a potty mouth. Unless it's Laurie Notaro. I got kicked out of the bedroom when I read her last book because I laughed and woke up Coach.
I'm serious. Laurie Notaro is not. And this time she's tackling Pinterest, tattoos, and craft-supply hoarding. Her essay on Ambien is what got me tossed from the bedroom. How's that for irony? You'll laugh. I promise.
Just don't start swearing or the Momsense Police will show up with a Mason jar.
If you've never had a Mennonite cause you hysterical laughter Rhoda Janzen is your girl. I loved Mennonite in a Little Black Dress but I'm Baptist- we're notoriously droll so maybe you won't appreciate it as much. There's no way to know.
It's not new; I just missed the launch because I was knee deep in teaching 15-year-olds to appreciate The Odyssey. There isn't much time for leisure reading.
The Amazon review begins, "When this overeducated professor starts dating the most unlikely of men - a weight-liftin', church-goin', truck-drivin' rocker named Mitch - she begins a surprising journey to faith and love."
They had me at "weight-liftin', church-goin', truck-drivin' rocker named Mitch" because HELLO - I met a weight-lifting, church-going, truck-driving Coach named Coach and also began a surprising journey. So- I think we all know why I am going to love this.
But, for the rest of you- she's funny too. And I want to write like her someday when I'm all grown-up and eloquent.
I've got a bunch more. I've broken them into categories. I'm in the middle of a fabulous novel right now, so I'll give you a few of the novels I've planned on reading on Wednesday. And Friday, oh Friday- I'll be listing all my favorite chick-lit authors that are perfect for a beach trip.
Until then I'm going to try to avoid the Swear Jar and the ER.